Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Obama Follis: A Short Comedy

A Short Mock Play in One Act

Cast of Characters-
Chorus: A Voice of reason
Barack Obama: President of the United States
America: People of the United States

Act I

Chorus: Where to begin on the Obama administration and the Middle East? The whole thing smacks of the most delicious irony one could imagine.

Some time ago, Iran cried foul when its election appeared rigged and Mahmoud Ahmedinejad was elected over his more progressive counterpart. Ahmedinejad was guilty of numerous human rights violations against the multitudes of protesters, who merely wanted to ensure that the democratic election was on the level. The Iranian people cried out to the American president, and he had to take a stance...

[Enter Barack] Barack [to America]: We need to just keep our nose out of this Iran thing. After all, who could possibly imagine that a faux-democratic theocracy run by the mullahs would rig an election to maintain power and continue their efforts to destroy Israel? We are not at war with Islam, you know. Perhaps we should just turn a blind eye...

Chorus: And so Obama proved that he's just not that interested in democracy after all, leading the People to believe that maybe he was serious when he said that bringing democracy to Iraq was a fool's endeavor. But then, Egypt erupted.

America: Barack, there's some guys protesting in Egypt against that Mubarak guy that has kept relative peace with Israel for like thirty years.
Barack: That guy has got to go! When the people call for change, we must answer the call of history and assist them. [Aside, to audience] Pay no mind to the fact that the group protesting Mubarak's authority in Cairo is one-fifth the size of the one those gun- and God-clingers amassed in Washington, D.C. last year.

[Weeks pass, and Barack leads political campaign against Mubarak. Mubarak resigns.]

Barack: So Mubarak is out, all signs point to the Muslim Brotherhood being in. And that is not a bad thing, because we are not at war with Islam, after all. Democracy wins!
America: Well done, Barack!

Chorus: Only problem is, the Muslim Brotherhood bases their ideology on the Hasan Al-Banna 1928 treatise, Jihad. Here's a small taste of it: "It is fard (obligatory) on us to fight with the enemies. The Imam must send a military expedition to the Dar-al-Harb {House of War -- the non-Muslim world} every year at least once or twice, and the people must support him in this." So despite the President's assurances, some among the People became unsettled at the thought that even when there's peace, they could expect attacks from the Islamic fundamentalists of Egypt, considering that simply being a non-Muslim is enough justification to do so. And some began to wonder if the treaty Israel has with Egypt would be upheld, when suddenly...

America: But, wait, look over there! Libya is following the example of other Middle Eastern countries and calling for democracy. What should we do with that Gaddafi guy?
Barack: Get him out of there, of course!
America: But Barack, who will replace this government?
Barack: The people of Libya will decide that.
America: But Barack, don't the people of Libya hate Europeans, Americans, and Israel? Isn't there a strong al-Qaeda presence there?
Barack: We don't know that for sure. American fear-mongers might say that because Libyans are primarily Muslims. But we are not at war with Islam.
America: [aside, so as not to be heard by many] Yeah, but it sure seems like most of those guys chanting "Death to America" say "Allahu Akhbar" a lot...

Chorus: And so commenced the "coalition" military effort against the Libyan government. At this, a confused America began to reflect...

America [to Barack]: Didn't you say that George Bush acted illegally when he acted with 30 countries in coalition to initiate the Iraq War? Now you are engaging in similar militaristic democracy shaping with the support of only 16? What gives?
Barack [to America]: You should be proud of what I've done. We've saved Libyan lives from a ruthless dictator who was ready to direct his armed forces against his people.
America: But didn't Saddam Hussein ruthlessly murder his own people and unleash chemical weapons upon hundreds of thousands of Kurdish Muslims?
Barack: That was different.
America: How?
Barack: In Libya, there will be no ground troops. I will show Gaddafi that I mean business, but will let him know that I will not exert effort beyond a certain point if it may make it easier for my opposition to draw a parallel between my regime and the Bush administration. That way, we can appear to be serious about human rights, but we will also not upset the Islamic world too much. We're not at war with Islam, you know. Now if you'll excuse me, all these questions and people wanting me to say stuff is really cutting into my family's vacation time in South America.
America: Oh yeah, sorry about that, Mr. President. [Exeunt Barack] Oh well. I wonder how things are with that Charlie Sheen? He's one crazy cat...

Chorus: And so, Barack Obama plods onward, leading the American people down the path he has laid: spend lots of money at home, confuse your enemies by acting tough while apologizing for being tough, and for God's sake, don't mention that we could be fighting the forces of Islamic fundamentalism.

There is a certain irony that negates any tragedy in this tale. Whereas in the tragedy of Oedipus the King the hero is blinded as the result of his tragic fall, Barack Obama rose to power and reigns as a result of, and in spite of, his blindness. The outcome of which is the dark comedy of current American politics.


William Sullivan

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